Dear Kevin,
You manage to make your life seem exciting and yet drudgy at the same time..... not an easy feat.... so many places... so many jobs. Itchy feet?? Searching for yourself? I must admit if I was guessing what you would be doing right now I would have plumped for for you climbing the corporate ladder of some sort. Something with a bit more 'blag' perhaps. Cant quite imagine you with hand up a U Bend.
Same with the family man bit.....but you have obviously managed it. Four kids is quite an achievement!.......You must have tapped in to that Catholic side...... How strange the way things work out.
This feels very weird emailing you. Real but not real if you know what I mean. It has been soooooo long, probably 140 in dog years or something. I cant believe we are both in our forties its quite scary.
What can I say about me, well I went to Newcastle in 86 to train as a Probation Officer, met David the same year, married him in 1991. He was on the same college course as me. Had my first child a son in 1991 then my parents died in 1994 which was a very bad time for me. I was a troll bitch from hell for a couple of years then settled down and had my daughter in 1998. Had enough of Geordie land by then and decided to move back to Essex in 2003.
Still employed in Criminal Justice ....... love my work..... keeps everything real. Kept in contact with my freinds here, although Bev has moved to Egypt and some have managed to escape the suburbs.
Moving house on Friday, am a bit flighty in that area, have moved three time in as many years and am currently in a house in Maldon Road where I used to have my flat all those years ago. Enough for now I seem to be going down memory lane....
Wednesday 28 March 2012
OMG ........ 4 children !!!! stop right now
I cant believe that email. Well I didnt expect him to be living on his own in a bedsit with only a gerbil for company but FOUR children............ what is that all about??? I know he is Catholic but two children are surely enough for anyone. I should really leave it alone now.....Its amazing what you can read into things when your mind is working overtime. I am so gobsmacked I have put off blogging for a couple of days hence the catch up to keep you up to speed.
What does he mean, nearly divorced.... is this a subliminal message to say he isnt happy in his marriage or is he just one of those men who is always on the look out. Maybe he has run out of extra marital material and is now trawling through his back catalogue. I really cant apologise for my cynical outburst but instead of answering the questions I needed to know, there are just more questions. Its just a correspondence really isnt it? Its not as if I am going to see him? Perhaps we can exchange a few messages and I can finally forget about him. I hope he is balding and fat and there is no resembelence to the person I fell in love with and stayed in love with for far too long. It could be poetic justice couldnt it? I mean I was totally obsessed with Eric from the Bay City Rollers when I was twelve but look at him now..... he is unrecognisable. Mind you he still looks better than Les, whose neck measure ment is the same as his waist was in the seventies but here I am digressing.
I think to coin a phrase I am justifying my behaviour, and the need to know about the past in order to move on. You see I have all the cliches ready and waiting. Seriously though I am intrigued and a little scared at the same time. Did I detect a tone? in his message or is this just a happily married guy interested in an old flame for the sake of curiosity. I have to know........
What does he mean, nearly divorced.... is this a subliminal message to say he isnt happy in his marriage or is he just one of those men who is always on the look out. Maybe he has run out of extra marital material and is now trawling through his back catalogue. I really cant apologise for my cynical outburst but instead of answering the questions I needed to know, there are just more questions. Its just a correspondence really isnt it? Its not as if I am going to see him? Perhaps we can exchange a few messages and I can finally forget about him. I hope he is balding and fat and there is no resembelence to the person I fell in love with and stayed in love with for far too long. It could be poetic justice couldnt it? I mean I was totally obsessed with Eric from the Bay City Rollers when I was twelve but look at him now..... he is unrecognisable. Mind you he still looks better than Les, whose neck measure ment is the same as his waist was in the seventies but here I am digressing.
I think to coin a phrase I am justifying my behaviour, and the need to know about the past in order to move on. You see I have all the cliches ready and waiting. Seriously though I am intrigued and a little scared at the same time. Did I detect a tone? in his message or is this just a happily married guy interested in an old flame for the sake of curiosity. I have to know........
The reply...............................
Dear Wendy
I had resigned myself to not hearing from you.... then life dishes out another of its many suprises.
I am glad you are ok although you dont say much about how Ok, so I hope I'm not assuming too much. Your sense of humour dosent change thankfully. I love Earl but seem to be the only one in the family who does... they just dont get it.
Well to use a 'Svenism' where do I start to describe 21 years other than if it had been a life sentence I would be out on parole by now!
Married in 86, first daughter in 88, first son 90. Moved to Italy in 91 came back in 92, second son in 92 second daughter in 93. Couldnt afford a telly?
Have variously worked as a plumber, electrician, heating engineer, builder, kitchen fitter, english teacher, drama teacher and football coach. Think that jut about covers it.
Nearly divorced several times but cant afford the legal fees so it hasnt happened yet. Lived in Italy Holland, Greenich and for the last twelve years back in Dartford. Needed to be near mum for her baby sitting skills so am still here.
Why Newcastle? I knew that your family came from the North East but that was Durham wasnt it? and why Essex again I didnt think you liked your old home town that much, having said that I never liked Dartford much either.
That is the short version. The full length tales are available to bore you with if you are mad enough to care.
Whats your story?
Kevin x
I had resigned myself to not hearing from you.... then life dishes out another of its many suprises.
I am glad you are ok although you dont say much about how Ok, so I hope I'm not assuming too much. Your sense of humour dosent change thankfully. I love Earl but seem to be the only one in the family who does... they just dont get it.
Well to use a 'Svenism' where do I start to describe 21 years other than if it had been a life sentence I would be out on parole by now!
Married in 86, first daughter in 88, first son 90. Moved to Italy in 91 came back in 92, second son in 92 second daughter in 93. Couldnt afford a telly?
Have variously worked as a plumber, electrician, heating engineer, builder, kitchen fitter, english teacher, drama teacher and football coach. Think that jut about covers it.
Nearly divorced several times but cant afford the legal fees so it hasnt happened yet. Lived in Italy Holland, Greenich and for the last twelve years back in Dartford. Needed to be near mum for her baby sitting skills so am still here.
Why Newcastle? I knew that your family came from the North East but that was Durham wasnt it? and why Essex again I didnt think you liked your old home town that much, having said that I never liked Dartford much either.
That is the short version. The full length tales are available to bore you with if you are mad enough to care.
Whats your story?
Kevin x
The message
Here goes: Lets make it short and sweet and see what happens,
Dear Kevin,
Quite a spooky moment getting a message from you after such a long time. I thought for a moment you might have had a 'my name is Earl' moment and wanted to cross me off your 'list'. ???? Could that be the one of people I have lost and loved? or people I have treated badly during my life ?? interesting!.
I did write a long time ago after my mum and dad passed away within a few weeks of each other. Dont know why really, I was having a 'moment'......... you have lost your mum so I am sure you know what I mean.
I am back in Essex after 18 years in Newcastle. I did see an entry from you in Friends Reunited but like you I thought that there was probably too much water.... etc.
What can I say? It would be nice to know what you are up to and how your life has turned out???
Over to you.
Dear Kevin,
Quite a spooky moment getting a message from you after such a long time. I thought for a moment you might have had a 'my name is Earl' moment and wanted to cross me off your 'list'. ???? Could that be the one of people I have lost and loved? or people I have treated badly during my life ?? interesting!.
I did write a long time ago after my mum and dad passed away within a few weeks of each other. Dont know why really, I was having a 'moment'......... you have lost your mum so I am sure you know what I mean.
I am back in Essex after 18 years in Newcastle. I did see an entry from you in Friends Reunited but like you I thought that there was probably too much water.... etc.
What can I say? It would be nice to know what you are up to and how your life has turned out???
Over to you.
Reply or not to reply.... that is the question
I am asking myself. Do I want to know what he is doing now....... Its starting to open up a trip down memory lane. This is not always a good thing readers especially when life in the here and now is not so rosy. I have thought long and hard over the last couple of days and have solicited the responses of my closest and most trusted friends. Beverley is in Egypt at the moment working in a dive centre but that dosent stop me from emailing her and asking her views. She of course remembers Kevin very well but is also aware that I am a 'happily married woman' and being a 'happily married woman' herself is all too aware of the pitfalls.
Basically her emails say 'dont do it' and think of the consequences? what good could possibly come of it? come on, your not unhappy are you? I think I have freaked her out in more ways than one. No Beverley I am not 'unhappy' but I wouldnt say I was 'happy' either. However where could be the harm in an innocuous reply. It would seem rude not to wouldnt it?
Anyway I am curious........ why is he contacting me after so long? what does he want? what is going on in his life that has made him suddenly think of me?. Losing his mum? Probably linked although grief does strange things to people I should know that. I quite liked his mum.... she was a bit scary though and I am sure she thought that I wasnt good enough for her Prince. But who would be in her eyes. Its strange to think she has passed away and my memory of her will always stay in the eighties when she was fit and vibrant. Commuting into London every day and an energy level that put us both to shame. I suddenly realise I want to know what has happened in his life since I last saw him, and scarily I actually care..........
Basically her emails say 'dont do it' and think of the consequences? what good could possibly come of it? come on, your not unhappy are you? I think I have freaked her out in more ways than one. No Beverley I am not 'unhappy' but I wouldnt say I was 'happy' either. However where could be the harm in an innocuous reply. It would seem rude not to wouldnt it?
Anyway I am curious........ why is he contacting me after so long? what does he want? what is going on in his life that has made him suddenly think of me?. Losing his mum? Probably linked although grief does strange things to people I should know that. I quite liked his mum.... she was a bit scary though and I am sure she thought that I wasnt good enough for her Prince. But who would be in her eyes. Its strange to think she has passed away and my memory of her will always stay in the eighties when she was fit and vibrant. Commuting into London every day and an energy level that put us both to shame. I suddenly realise I want to know what has happened in his life since I last saw him, and scarily I actually care..........
Wednesday 21 March 2012
The morning after...............Match score 4-2
The morning after the night before. I woke up with Sharon.... no readers, the night did not take on a lesbian turn. I eventually dragged myself away from Kevin at some unearthly hour, we had ended up back at his room, his roommate had stayed out, and I needed to ensure Sharon did not turn up and catch me in our room with her beloved Kevin. So we had our first brief night together, I wont go into details but it wasnt a disappointment. We kind of blended together, both mind and body and I realised that something amazing had happened to me.
So readers, I returned to my room where Sharon was snoring away oblivious to the fact that I had spent the night with the man she had set her sights upon. Not very sisterly you may be thinking but sometimes your heart rules your head or at least that was how I justified my actions to myself. I knew he wasnt interested in Sharon and probably never would be.... he teased her mercilessly and she somehow took this as a 'sign'. Anyway we both got up to play netball !!!!! and guess what we lost 4-2. We were rubbish really, although looking back at the photo's I did look quite fetching in my netball top and little skirt which was probably just as well as I intended to keep the attention of Kevin away from all his other admirers.
I cant really remember much about the football game, I am sure Kevin looked great in his kit too and although the boys also lost their game, I will always remember Nottingham fondly. I sat on the grass waiting for half time, holding Kev's belongings, like the cat who had got the cream. I had broken away from the mundane small town I had grown up in, and the feeling that overwhelmed me at the time was that the world was my oyster. Yes its another cliche but I knew we had something special and somehow fate had brought us together. I am a great believer in fate by the way, but you must be brave in making your choices. Had I chosen the right man, only time would tell but one thing I would say is if you ever have to question love, are you in love? is he the one? will it last? then the answer is probably no. I had no such reservations, but with that faith, is also fear. No one wants their heart broken do they??? You make yourself vulnerable and thats a scary thing. Still this was 1979 and I was the happiest I had ever been.
So readers, I returned to my room where Sharon was snoring away oblivious to the fact that I had spent the night with the man she had set her sights upon. Not very sisterly you may be thinking but sometimes your heart rules your head or at least that was how I justified my actions to myself. I knew he wasnt interested in Sharon and probably never would be.... he teased her mercilessly and she somehow took this as a 'sign'. Anyway we both got up to play netball !!!!! and guess what we lost 4-2. We were rubbish really, although looking back at the photo's I did look quite fetching in my netball top and little skirt which was probably just as well as I intended to keep the attention of Kevin away from all his other admirers.
I cant really remember much about the football game, I am sure Kevin looked great in his kit too and although the boys also lost their game, I will always remember Nottingham fondly. I sat on the grass waiting for half time, holding Kev's belongings, like the cat who had got the cream. I had broken away from the mundane small town I had grown up in, and the feeling that overwhelmed me at the time was that the world was my oyster. Yes its another cliche but I knew we had something special and somehow fate had brought us together. I am a great believer in fate by the way, but you must be brave in making your choices. Had I chosen the right man, only time would tell but one thing I would say is if you ever have to question love, are you in love? is he the one? will it last? then the answer is probably no. I had no such reservations, but with that faith, is also fear. No one wants their heart broken do they??? You make yourself vulnerable and thats a scary thing. Still this was 1979 and I was the happiest I had ever been.
Mind blowing decisions
No not the heatwave song...... just my brain whirring overtime. I didnt sleep very well last night as expected, all kinds of memories going through my mind. I kept thinking about the first time I met Kevin in 1979. Although I am from a small Essex town, I had itchy feet and whilst my friends were happy at home and going out locally at weekends I wanted more. I had been working at a local department store in the personnel department. My new boss Alison arrived and she had just come from Debenhams in Oxford street. She wanted the quiet life, babies and good schools. She could see I was frustrated and wanted a challenge. She suggested I apply to some major stores in London , write a few letters and see if there were any openings in Personnel. It was so much easier in those days to find work and it wasnt long before I had a couple of interviews lined up.
The confidence of youth combined with energy and zest for life, spurred me on and I was offered a post at Debenhams in Oxford Street. Very exciting for me and my social life really took off. I was commuting an hour each way and not really earning much more money but it was worth it.
Anyway back to Kevin, a group of us would meet after work at the Pontefract castle pub off Oxford Street, we were all young free and single at the time and to us it seemed pointless going home after work when most of us lived outside London.
I had heard about Kevin before I really met him, in other words his reputation went before him, He was tall dark and handsome. Well actually not that tall but dark, good looking with a certain air of bad boy about him. Thinking about it, he may have actually had a perm...... dont let that put you off though if you imagine a kind of young Robbie Williams crossed with David Essex again obviously when he was young and goergous (sorry David, I still love you !)
He was in demand, and my friend Sharon who also worked at Debenhams had a major crush on him. I was a bit nonchalent when I first encountered him. Thought he was a bit arrogant and full of himself but looking back I probably didnt want to be just another notch on his bedpost.
Anyway we all went away for the weekend to play another Debenhams store at Netball and Football in Nottingham. It was a good laugh on the coach and the night before the matches, we all decided to go out drinking which looking back was probably not the best idea. But hey we had the stamina then and nothing would stop us having a good time. I was sharing a room with Sharon who was a strange girl really looking back.
Somehow or other I ended up talking to Kevin, we had the same sense of humour, it was easy and I started to feel I had maybe misjudged him. He was funny, clever, and very very sexy. I remember our first kiss in the hotel room, I dont know where Sharon had gone at that time, but I had clearly upset her by my liason with Kevin and she had left me to it. He pinned me up against the wall in the hotel and kissed me, gently at first then passionately. I was hooked by then, and there was no going back.
The confidence of youth combined with energy and zest for life, spurred me on and I was offered a post at Debenhams in Oxford Street. Very exciting for me and my social life really took off. I was commuting an hour each way and not really earning much more money but it was worth it.
Anyway back to Kevin, a group of us would meet after work at the Pontefract castle pub off Oxford Street, we were all young free and single at the time and to us it seemed pointless going home after work when most of us lived outside London.
I had heard about Kevin before I really met him, in other words his reputation went before him, He was tall dark and handsome. Well actually not that tall but dark, good looking with a certain air of bad boy about him. Thinking about it, he may have actually had a perm...... dont let that put you off though if you imagine a kind of young Robbie Williams crossed with David Essex again obviously when he was young and goergous (sorry David, I still love you !)
He was in demand, and my friend Sharon who also worked at Debenhams had a major crush on him. I was a bit nonchalent when I first encountered him. Thought he was a bit arrogant and full of himself but looking back I probably didnt want to be just another notch on his bedpost.
Anyway we all went away for the weekend to play another Debenhams store at Netball and Football in Nottingham. It was a good laugh on the coach and the night before the matches, we all decided to go out drinking which looking back was probably not the best idea. But hey we had the stamina then and nothing would stop us having a good time. I was sharing a room with Sharon who was a strange girl really looking back.
Somehow or other I ended up talking to Kevin, we had the same sense of humour, it was easy and I started to feel I had maybe misjudged him. He was funny, clever, and very very sexy. I remember our first kiss in the hotel room, I dont know where Sharon had gone at that time, but I had clearly upset her by my liason with Kevin and she had left me to it. He pinned me up against the wall in the hotel and kissed me, gently at first then passionately. I was hooked by then, and there was no going back.
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